Drug and Alcohol Use Warning Signs

Jenny Wagner, LCPC, CADC

Many of the parents I have worked with over the years have all said the same thing, “I should have known! I thought something was off.” Substance abuse can often appear to be other things; stress, depression, anxiety, bullying.

Teenagers who are using drugs and alcohol will do whatever it takes to keep being able to drink or use drugs. There may be an increase in secretive behaviors such as lying, manipulating, and hiding which allows them to continue their drug use. They could be putting locks on their social media or phone devices so parents can not gain access not due to privacy. They may be keeping their bedrooms off limits so their parents are unable to find things within them and use the excuse of privacy.

Since mood swings and unpredictable behavior are frequent occurrences for teenagers, parents may find it difficult to spot signs of alcohol and drug abuse or mistake it for something else. If you notice any of the warning signs below ask your teenager if they are using drugs or alcohol. It’s important to be supportive vs. accusing during this time. If you still have concerns that your teenager may be using, give them a drug test. If they refuse you can bring them into the doctor’s office for a drug test administered by a doctor. Most drugs do not stay in the system for over 72 hours except marijuana which can last up to 30 days if used daily.

If someone is recently sober a relapse may look similar to drug abuse. A relapse usually starts before the actual use of the drug or alcohol. The first changes occur within the teenagers thinking. If addictive thinking creeps back in behavioral changes are next to come. Parents may see old using behaviors come back such as lying, secretive behaviors, and manipulation. There are physical, behavioral, and psychological symptoms that parents can look for to determine if their child may be using drugs or alcohol or has had a relapse.

Physical Symptoms:

• Sweating
• Pale color with dark circles under their eyes
• A decrease in personal grooming
• Eyes that are bloodshot
• Change in pupil size
• Sudden weight change loss or gain
• Impaired coordination, injuries, accidents or bruises
• Unusual smells on breath, body, or clothing
• Shakes, tremors, incoherent or slurred speech
  

Behavioral Symptoms:

• Getting in trouble at school, skipping class, drop in grades
• Hostile and uncooperative; frequently breaks the rules
• Decreased motivation to do school work or chores
• Relationships with family members have deteriorated
• Hanging around with a new group of friends
• Grades have slipped, and his or her school attendance is irregular
• Lost interest in hobbies, sports, and other favorite activities
• Eating or sleeping patterns have changed; he or she is up at night and sleeps during the day
• Has a hard time concentrating or listening
• Preoccupation with alcohol and drug-related lifestyle in music, clothing and paraphernalia
• Missing money, valuables, prescription or non prescription drugs, borrowing and stealing money
• Having large amounts of money on them without a job
• Acting isolated, silent, withdrawn, engaging in secretive or suspicious behaviors
  

Psychological Symptoms:

• Unexplained, confusing change in personality and/or attitude
• Sudden mood changes, irritability, angry outbursts, or rage
• Periods of unusual hyperactivity
• Agitation or aggression
• Lack of motivation; inability to focus, appears lethargic or “spaced out”
• Appears fearful, anxious, or paranoid, for no reason
• Increase in depressive symptoms

If you are noticing any of the symptoms above there are other things to consider. If you have been noticing missing money from your purse or wallet or items missing from the house. Parents should be searching their teenager’s room if they have suspicions they may be using drugs or alcohol. Parents should also search the house for drug paraphernalia such as pipes, bags of seeds, rolling papers, empty bottles in the bedroom, cold medication boxes, baggies of pills etc as these items are sometimes hidden even outside the house in the yard or garage. Some parents will say after the fact I kept having to buy new whip cream or other inhalants but didn’t understand why it kept running out. Or they thought they had left over medication from a surgery or cold medicine in the cabinet but now it’s missing. Individually these incidents could be ignored but together they can show signs of a larger problem.

Teenagers will often use excuses when parents question their motives or whereabouts to throw them off. Some of the most commonly used excuses are listed below.

Excuses Teenagers Use to Avoid Accountability:

• The drug test is wrong.
• I was keeping/holding it for a friend.
• A drink got spilled on me.
• I just had one drink – I didn't know it had alcohol in it.
• That smell is my new perfume / incense /air freshener.
• I was in a car where others were smoking not me.
• All my friends are doing it, it’s normal.
• It's only alcohol – at least I don't do drugs.
• It's only marijuana – at least I don't do heroin.
• I just tried it once and I'll never do it again.
• It's normal to experiment when you're a teenager.
• My eyes are bothering me. I probably have allergies.
• I'm just tired.
• At least I don't drink and drive. I’m being responsible.
• My friends are allowed to do this why can’t I?
• I’m doing better than all of my friends.
• It's not like when you were young – it's a different time.

Parent’s it’s important to be vigilant and hold your children accountable. Heavier drug use and addictions begin with alcohol and marijuana use. If you suspect something may be going on follow you gut and gather more information.

TEDxNaperville 2016 – Dr. Laura Bokar

Fox Valley Institute - Counseling and Psychiatry for Marriage, Teen, Family, Depression, Anxiety - Therapy and Psychological Testing - Located in Naperville IL

Dr. Laura Bokar helped 2016 TEDxNaperville attendees use their own personal superpowers to help others achieve something they’ve always wanted to do.

The post TEDxNaperville 2016 – Dr. Laura Bokar appeared first on Fox Valley Institute.

from News – Fox Valley Institute http://ift.tt/2hSRy3B
via IFTTT

Using Thought Defusion to Cope with Teenage Anxiety

Erin O’Donohue, Psy.D., Licensed Clinical Psychologist at Fox Valley Institute

Being a teenager isn’t easy. Self-consciousness seems to bring attention to your inadequacies and it can feel that everyone is aware of them. Now more than ever, there is 24/7 access to social media and the potential to compare yourself unfavorably to others. It is hard to escape the beliefs you’re not good enough. Who you should be and how you should live your life is a constant struggle. Thinking about the future and worrying about the unknown can lead to anxiety. Thoughts can be both productive and unproductive. They can be based on fact or fiction. Thoughts are ways of understanding your world, yet can oftentimes be based on perceptions and judgements that aren’t grounded in reality. Thoughts are words and images that typically focus on the past or the future, and neglect the present moment. When you buy into your thoughts and get hooked, this is known as thought fusion.

This can be helpful when the thoughts are directing you towards a more meaningful and purposeful existence, yet when the thoughts are claiming you’re a failure or you’re incompetent, this judgement can impact your self-esteem. When you learn to defuse from painful and unpleasant thoughts, they will become less overwhelming and disturbing, and have less influence over your actions. For example, it can be more productive if you are able to put some space between you and the thought, i.e. say to yourself, “I’m having a thought I’m a failure”, and recognizing thoughts for what they are. For one you are accepting you are having the thought and you aren’t trying to ignore or push it away, and two you are allowing the thought to come and go without fusing and over identifying with the thought. Realizing a thought is a string of words and allowing it be present without criticizing yourself or struggling with the thought, will allow the thoughts to come and go more freely.

Another technique to assist with thought defusion is the use of imagery. Imagine yourself standing by the ocean. Now see the thought you are having etched into the sand without judging yourself. Visualize a wave coming up and washing away your thought. See the next thought you have written into the sand, and without getting stuck on the thought see the next wave erase the thought. Continue doing this exercise for five minutes and practice daily. The more you practice thought defusion skills, the easier it will be to initiate these strategies when flooded with a wave of emotion or when preoccupied with unproductive thoughts.

Survivors of Suicide

Jennifer K. Logston, MSW, LCSW

Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. Each year nearly 43,000 people die by suicide and for every person who dies, 25 others have attempted to take their own lives. Despite these staggering figures, suicide is still something that people don’t want to think about and try desperately to avoid talking about except in a flippant way. There is a stigma around mental illness and suicide that impacts the access to help, as well as the healing of survivors of suicide loss. Well meaning people say things all the time, in ignorance, that perpetuate the stigma; “I can’t believe how selfish he was. She was nuts. They took the easy way out.” These statements may express the feelings of anger, resentment and confusion that are a part of processing suicide death, but when they are held on to or perpetuated as beliefs about suicide in general, they create a barrier to healing for those struggling with suicidal thoughts, as well as those dealing with the loss of a loved one to suicide.

Suicide is different from other deaths. Many of the feelings that others who have lost loved ones have are there; anger, sadness, despair. But shame, guilt and isolation are so much more prominent for survivors of suicide loss. Grieving the death of a loved one who took their own life is often shrouded in stigma and silenced by shame. Survivors struggle to understand, to find ways to explain what happened and are frequently tormented by the “what ifs and if onlys”.  Survivors want comfort and not more questions. Often well meaning, the questions about what happened only serve to trigger the shame and guilt and remind us of all the unanswerable questions we have about the death as well. In our attempts to manage our own pain, it is a struggle for many survivors to acknowledge to others that the death of their loved one was a suicide.

With any loss, we go through phases of Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and eventually Acceptance. Much of this is the same no matter the type of loss. But anger, a normal part of the grieving process, is complicated in suicide bereavement. It is normal for survivors to experience anger at that which caused the death; cancer, a drunk driver or some other senseless tragedy. With suicide, our anger at the cause is frequently anger with the person we have lost. This is a confusing and heart wrenching experience that can complicate the healing process. Acceptance is further complicated by the societal stigma of mental illness in general. If we can’t talk about the loss, fearing judgment or shame, it makes it very hard to progress through the stages of grief and get to acceptance.

For all these reasons, support groups specifically for survivors of suicide loss are so important. Having a place where survivors can openly discuss what happened is essential for many people. Knowing that there are others that have a shared experience and that there will be understanding and compassion for them and for the loved one who died by suicide, can make all the difference.

When suicide has been in the top ten causes of death for over 40 years, and we still can’t give it the level of serious attention it deserves, we know things have to change. We need to consider mental illness a real and present issue deserving of the same level of attention and compassion that we give to victims of cancer or other illnesses. Don’t hide it. Talk about it. Together we can end the stigma.

If you have lost a loved one to suicide, or you know someone who has, there are places to seek help. Both the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and the American Association for Suicidology have numerous resources to help those who have lost a loved one to suicide.



Jennifer K. Logston, MSW, LCSW is a Therapist at Fox Valley Institute in Naperville, IL. She has a specialization in working with survivors of suicide loss, individually as well as through a twice monthly support group at Fox Valley Institute. Jennifer is also a survivor of her father’s suicide in 1983.

School Refusal

Cindy Baleskie, MA, LCPC

Riley is a 15-year- old sophomore. She typically gets straight A’s, and her teachers praise her for being a model student. She plays on the varsity volleyball team and is involved with student government. During first semester, she missed two weeks of school due to an illness. Since returning to school, she frequently complains of headaches and stomachaches in the morning. She has stayed home from school at least once a week, and when she is at school, she often calls her parents from the nurse’s office, asking to go home. At home, she naps or binge- watches TV shows all day. She is failing three classes due to incomplete assignments. When her parents try to discuss her school work, she cries and becomes angry. Her parents are becoming increasingly concerned because she seems to have lost her enthusiasm and motivation for everything, including her friends.

Unfortunately, Riley’s story is one that many families can relate to. Parents frequently seek support from our therapists for school avoidant behaviors in their children. We tend to view school refusal as a symptom of emotional distress.

Common reasons students refuse to attend school include the following:

1. Avoid feelings of anxiety, fear, or incompetence related to academic pressure
2. Avoid social situations that cause anxiety, such as attending a new school or being bullied
3. Gain benefits of staying home, such as special attention or the ability to play video games
4. Lack of motivation and energy due to depression, anxiety, or substance abuse

Parents and teachers often notice the following symptoms:

• physical complaints, such as headache, stomachache, vomiting, and fatigue
• frequent requests to stay home from school, tardiness, or visits to the nurse’s office
• drop in grades due to incomplete work
• change in mood, such as increased irritability, sadness, tearfulness, or feelings of being overwhelmed or hopeless

What can parents do?

Get Support from the School: First, meet with the school counselor or social worker to create a plan of action. School personnel will often collaborate with the teachers to create a modified schedule for missing assignments that is more manageable to the student. They will help identify a safe space for the student to go if they feel overwhelmed, such as meeting with the social worker to discuss the source of the stress, rather than avoiding the stress by going home. If there is a difficult social situation, the school will do their best to help the student become more comfortable or cope with a situation that cannot be changed.

Don’t Enable the Behavior: If your child is refusing to attend school, be honest with school personnel rather than saying that they are sick. This will only delay the consequences and decrease the school’s ability to support your child in an appropriate way.

Eliminate the Rewards of Staying Home: This may mean taking away video games, WiFi, or TV. Do not allow your child to participate in recreational or social activities if they do not attend school.

Listen: Create a safe environment for your child to express their feelings. Avoid shaming your child or minimizing their challenges. Empathize with how difficult, scary, or frustrating situations like these can be. Collaborate with your child on finding solutions so they feel more empowered.

Provide Structure: Create healthy morning, afternoon, and evening routines that support time management, organization, and positive momentum.

Seek Help from a Professional: A therapist will help your child learn to communicate about their concerns more effectively, cope with difficult feelings in a healthy way, and build upon your child’s strengths. A therapist can also collaborate with school personnel to support their efforts in the classroom. An added benefit of working with a therapist is that they will provide support and encouragement to parents who can feel discouraged about their efforts to help their child.

For additional tips, check out these suggestions published by Alexian Brothers Behavioral Health.

If you would like to consult with one of our licensed therapists about your child’s behavior, please call 630.718.0717 or visit our website at www.fvinstitute.com.